What END actually stands for
by soulless emo person
Summary: In the more recent Fairy Tail arcs, there has been mention of a mysterious weapon called "E.N.D". In this fic are some things that it could stand for (but most of them are fairly unlikely to be canon).
1. Chapter 1: Extra Nacho Day

_fyi, I do not own Fairy Tail (though that should be pretty obvious)_

* * *

Zeref stepped into the doorway of the Fairy Tail guild. The mob inside grew silent almost instantly. Natsu, who was half-way through launching a flying kick (assisted in flight by co-pilot Happy) into the side of Gajeel's head, stopped and growled in his general direction.

Juvia's attention was momentarily diverted from Gray, who was currently being slowly suffocated by Elfman, who was being held in a headlock by Erza.

The entire "Thunder Legion" stood up and stared (this included Laxus, who was aiming a punch in the general direction of Natsu's face, and Freed, who was avidly watching him).

Wendy, Lucy, Levvy, and anyone else with more than half a brain cell, were all reacting the way that most regular human beings would (cowering in corners and underneath various sturdy-looking pieces of furniture; Droy was experiencing some difficulties whilst trying to hide behind a small, three-legged stool)

Makarov stepped forward, and looked straight at him.

"Why are you here, Zeref?"

Zeref smiled serenely.

"I have come to unleash the power of E.N.D! Cower, as you witness the terrifying power of…"

* * *

**1. Extra Nacho Day**

"Everybody, I command you all, to bask in the glory of nachos!" Zeref continued.

Makarov spluttered in rage. "Stop bluffing Zeref! What does E.N.D really stand for?!"

Zeref looked confused.

"Why would I be bluffing? Nachos are awesome!"

"What about your plans of world domination?" Lucy demanded, from underneath a large table.

Zeref looked even more puzzled.

"World domination? Why would you think that I wanted that? I mean, yes, I was trying to enforce nacho day as a world-wide holiday, but I'm not totally evil…"

* * *

Later, during the nacho fiesta, Gray approached Natsu.

"Hey, pyro, you said that Igneel tried to destroy E.N.D, right?

Natsu sank his teeth into his eighth plate of nachos. "So?"

"Why would he want to destroy nachos? Nacho day is amazing!"

"Oh, that. Well, I think that he said that he was allergic to nachos once…"

"Seriously?! Wow, that must have sucked!"

"Tell me about it, I didn't even get to taste a single nacho until I came to the guild… hey! What are you doing? Those are my nachos!"

Gray shrugged. "It didn't look like you were gonna eat them."

"Well I was, give them back!"

"No way man, get your own."

"Those are my own!" Natsu lit up a fireball. "Hand 'em over!"

* * *

_hey, thanks for reading! please let me know what you thought of this chapter, and suggest other ideas for what E.N.D could stand for (I have some ideas, but help would be useful!)_

_also, if you're looking for other authors, check out my little sister Nemo Dexter (I mainly put that in because she'd kill me if I didn't). I've done a co-write wth her, but this is my first fic on my own account._

_"the complete flames in our chests shall not be extinguished by anyone, we are the phoenix!"_

_ 0__- -_

_ l _

_see ya!_


	2. Chapter 2: Evil Natsu Dragneel

_ok, so this is probs gonna be a slightly more serious (as in 'this could be canon' type stuff, not writing style [moi, serious? NEVER!])_

* * *

**2. Evil Natsu Dragneel**

"Allow me to introduce my master weapon, the demon/ dragon-slayer, Natsu!"

All eyes turned slowly towards the pink-haired pyromaniac.

"You know, that actually makes a lot of sense…" Laxus muttered. The rest of the guild murmured in agreement.

Natsu stared back at them defiantly. "What?! Ok, how am _I_ evil?!"

When met by an awkward silence, he folded his arms triumphantly.

"See? There's no way that I'm-"

"Actually" started Gray, "you did break into Lucy's house."

"You've done that too! And put some damn clothes on, pervert!" Lucy raged.

"He started it, I mean, he was the one who invited me over to your house in the first place…" he swiftly ducked the chair that Lucy had thrown in Natsu's general direction.

At this point, Levy spoke up. "He's always fighting with Gajeel and Gray."

"Hey!" yelled Natsu, who had narrowly avoided the chair, and was now trying to dodge a barrage of other objects that were being pelted at him. "They both had it coming!"

Gajeel snorted. "What for? For pointing out that your hair is pink? We're doing you a favour flame-brain."

Gray nodded in agreement.

"It's not pink, it's _salmon_!"

Lucy, who had momentarily paused from throwing things at Natsu, spoke up. "He blackmailed me into wearing a maid outfit!"

The entire guild went silent.

…

"It's not what it sounds like…" she stuttered awkwardly. "That came out wrong, didn't it?"

Erza, who was still slowly draining the life-force out of Elfman, launched into a complaint. "he ate all of my cake!"

Makarov, who had evidently been holding onto a grudge for some time now, added to the throng of voices. "And he's responsible for at least half of the repair bills!"

Wendy, who was one of the few guild members who did not have a complaint against Natsu voiced a question. "But why would Igneel try to destroy Natsu? I thought that he was supposed to be his dad."

Zeref sighed.

"Yeah, about that..."

* * *

Approximately 26 years ago (provided that you assume that Natsu is about the same age as Erza and Gray)...

Igneel loomed over the small child, claws cutting into his neck.

This harmless-looking boy had the potential to destroy worlds.

He would have to be eliminated.

As his hold on the infant's neck tightened, the boy started to cry, in long, wailing sobs.

"I'm sorry kid, but if I don't kill you now, you're going to end up killing a whole lot of people. I just can't let you live."

As the dragon breathed in, preparing to engulf the boy in flames, E.N.D looked up into his eyes.

*surprise attack; sad kitty face!*

"Aww, dammit Zeref! Why did you have to make him so cute?" Igneel loosened his claws, exasperatedly.

"Ok, I know what to do. I'll raise him as a normal human being! That always works, I mean, there's no way it can go wrong… right?" despite the very obvious flaws with this plan, he continued "if he thinks that he's normal, he won't try to kill people when he's older!"

The rest, as they say, is history…

* * *

Back in the present...

"You know..." Gray began, as Natsu resumed his path of destruction, "that actually makes a lot of sense..."

* * *

_hey, hope you liked this chapter ;)_

_anyways, I would like to take this opportunity to say thanks sooo much to the following people, who were the first to leave reviews/ favourite/ follow_

_FairyTail123_

_Guest_

_Poppyflower of Stormclan_

_Haha_

_h zzz_

_Natsu is Awesome_

_IlovAnime-Manga_

_GhostOfOnyx_

_Eltungawng_

_Bacon Bacteria_

_I had no idea that so many of you guys would read this within the first day, so thank you (have a virtual cupcake from me)__ O_

_ ( )__( )__\\\\/_

_see ya XD _


	3. Chapter 3: Eternity Never Dies

_Ok, so this week, I've decided to do two short chapters, as they're not really the kind of thing that I could write loads about (especially the second one)_

* * *

**3. Eternity Never Dies**

There was a pause.

"What the hell does that mean?!" choked Elfman, rubbing his neck from where Erza had been strangling him.

Zeref suddenly looked rather awkward.

"Umm… well, when I was stuck on Tenrou Island, I was kind of going through an emo phase…"

There was a general raising of eyebrows throughout the guild-hall.

"Anyway, because just moping around on an island for four-hundred years would have been really boring, Mavis and I, well…"

He mumbled something under his breath.

Makarov crossed his arms impatiently. "Speak up, no-one can hear you."

Zeref shuffled his feet.

"We… umm, we…"

"C'mon, out with it!" yelled Natsu, who had just been thrown to the floor after successfully kicking the side of Gajeel's head.

Zeref's face turned a bright shade of beetroot.

"We started an emo rock band…"

He trailed off.

There was a long pause, as everyone in the guild tried to work out if he was being serious.

A few of the younger members of the guild started giggling hysterically.

Turning even more bright red, Zeref muttered "We were wondering if you could give us a review…"

* * *

_yes, I know that this one was short (and not amazing) but hey, try to imagine Zeref (evil overlord, creator of demons, absolutely adorable when turned into a chibi...) in an emo band._

_And if you're still unsatisfied, go to the next chapter_


	4. Chapter 4: Erotic Noodle Dissection

**4. Erotic Noodle Dissection**

A crushing silence overcame the entire hall.

Happy mimed being sick behind Natsu, who looked like he might actually be sick.

Lucy stared.

"What kind of freaky stuff are you into?"

Zeref cast his eyes down.

"It's best not to ask…"

* * *

_so, there you have it. this particular chapter/ idea came into existence when I asked my little sister for ideas. she came up with_ _ERRATIC __Noodle Dissection, but, because my brain resides at the bottom of the gutter, I misheard the 'erratic' part. _

_I guess that says a lot about me..._

_see ya next week_


	5. Chapter 5: Extremely Nerdy Dipshts

**5. Extremely Nerdy Dipsh*ts**

There was a slightly confused pause, as the entire guild tried to work out if they'd misheard him or not.

"Dude, what does that mean?" Gray asked, voicing the opinions of everyone who had just heard what Zeref had said.

The dark mage grinned, shockingly exhibiting an evil face (creepy smile, fangs, flames flickering in eyes…) that rivalled Natsu's. He continued speaking, throwing in the occasional hysterical, evil laugh whilst he was talking.

"E.N.D. is actually an army from an alternate universe. Yes, that's right, I have brought the entirety of the 'Fairy Tail' fandom into this world! An army of nerds will sweep this land, destroying all in their path, as they fight over trivial matters, which absolutely no body outside the fandom cares about! Such as whether they ship 'NaLu' or 'NaLi'! The streets will be stained with the blood of all who oppose their OTPs!"

The guild members remained confused.

"Fandom? What the hell is that?" yelled Gajeel, from the back of the hall.

"And what's an OTP?" asked Lucy

Zeref giggled hysterically.

"You shall soon see! Here comes my army now!"

The people of Magnolia cowered, as the multitude of obsessed fans stormed towards the guildhall.

Zeref, who was still laughing gleefully, was promptly trampled by the mob, as they all surged towards the main characters (he was later scraped off the floor by his own dedicated fangirls and guys, but that's not relevant right now).

Gray was quickly swamped, despite Juvia's dedicated efforts to keep them away from "Gray-sama".

Levy was quickly hauled out from under the table that had been sheltering her for the last few minutes, and was crowd-surfed across the guildhall by a group of fans, who sounded like they were chanting "GaLe", however, over the noise of the rest of the fangirls and guys, it was kind of difficult to tell.

By this point, Natsu had been cornered by a large multitude of fans.

"Don't you think that Lucy is your one true love?" one exited fan squealed (the fact that said fan 'squealed' at all was rather disconcerting, as he was a bald man in his late forties).

"NO! 'Natza' for ever!" another fan screamed at him.

"Geez, have you not gotten past the 'Tower of Heaven' arc yet. 'fraid you'll find that 'Jerza' is totes canon newbie!" piped up another fan from the back of the crowd.

As a scuffle started to break out, on the other side of the guild, Erza was also being cornered.

"pllllllleeeeeeeaaaaaassssseeee show us the 'punishment armour'!" begged one drooling fanboy.

There was a mutual nodding of approval among the group.

"At least try on the 'bunny armour'!" pleaded another.

* * *

Some time later...

"Hey Gray!" Lyon yelled from across the street. "I heard you've been taking all my work. Any jobs that require an ice mage, when I show up, they say that you've already been and done all the work!"

Gray raised an eyebrow.

"You got a problem?"

"Hell yes! I haven't been able to get paid in weeks because of you! I swear, I'm gonna smash your face in! I'll damage you so bad, you'll never be able to take your shirt off again!"

Gray, who had already taken off his shirt by this point, sighed.

"Hey, fangirls! You hear that? This man threatened my perfectly chiselled abs! Are you gonna stand for that?"

The deafening roar of roughly a hundred angry fangirls sreaming "NO!" and "WE SHALL PROTECT YOU GRAY-SAMA!" resonated off the walls of the town, as the angry mob charged at Lyon.

"Oh crap…" he muttered, as the fangirl at the head of the charge flew towards his face.

"CALL THEM OFF! PLEASE GRAAAAYYYY!" he screamed, whilst being slowly mashed to a pulp.

"Ooh, that's gotta hurt…" Gray whistled. "Okay ladies, I think that he's learned his lesson! Now let's get outta here before _his_ fangirls show up!"

Meanwhile, up on the rooftop of a nearby building...

"Target acquired ma'am!" one of Lyon's fans whispered to another, looking through the scope of a sniper rifle at Gray.

"Ready. Aim. FIRE!"

* * *

_hiya guys! yes, I am aware that I said that I would try to publish one chapter per week, so if this one is late, sorry. but I haven't had access to wifi for ages, so please don't kill me. _

_anyways..._

_so yeah, I know that quite a few of you have given me suggestions for what E.N.D stands for. I am working on those, so keep 'em coming (I'm totally not running out of ideas... honest...)_

_thank you sooo much to those who are following this story, and to you guys who have given me suggestions. _

_see ya soon (hopefully)_


	6. Chapter 6: Everything Neko Day

_Ok, so, all the credit for this idea goes to __axlorg89 and killila23400, since the both wanted me to write a chapter involving 'nekos' (for the few of you who are unfamiliar with this term, it essentially means 'people with cat ears and tails'._

_Enjoy this chapter, and please keep the suggestions coming. (To those of you who have already sent suggestions, I am working on them. This suggestion only got priority because two people wanted it)_

* * *

**6. Everything Neko Day**

With this triumphant announcement, Zeref released a cloud of sleeping gas into the room.

Everything went black.

* * *

"Ughhhh…" Natsu slowly sat up, groaning. "This is almost as bad as motion sickness."

Over by the bar, Cana was the second person to haul herself up.

"Why does it feel like all of the alcohol I've ever drunk is ganging up on me all at once?!"

Lucy mumbled something about hitting her head against a brick wall.

Those who were conscious started to move.

Then they had the misfortune to see what had been attached to their heads.

"NATSU! YOU HAVE WHISKERS! AND A TAIL!" screeched Lucy.

Natsu seemed surprisingly calm.

"well." He pointed out coolly. "So have you."

"Actually…" sniggered Happy. "Everyone has!"

As more and more people began to wake up, there were assorted cries of horror.

"What the hell?!"

"This is E.N.D.?!"

"Why the ears?!"

It was around then that Gray, who had been wondering how Zeref had managed to attach his tail, given that he was not wearing anything for it to be attached to, realised that the items would not come off.

"Hey, guys! Looks like these are permanent!" is what he was about to yell, when he was cut off.

"HOLY CRAP! THESE THINGS DON'T COME OFF!"

The yelp had come from Gajeel, who currently had Lily pulling desperately on his ears.

Erza remained remarkably calm.

"Well, it looks like I won't be needing the 'neko armour' anymore." She pouted.

Happy, who was still in hysterics, continued laughing as he spoke to Lucy.

"Hey, Lucy" the cat chuckled, as he pointed out her blue ears and tail. "We match!"

Lucy glared.

"This isn't the time for humour, cat!" she screamed, aiming a kick at him.

For the first time since knocking them out, Zeref spoke up.

"I wouldn't be too worried if I were you, they should be gone by tomorrow."

Makarov, who had been looking at his own ears (which were purple), looked up.

"What do you mean, Zeref?"

The dark mage sighed.

"I wanted to establish an 'Everything Neko Day' because I thought that it would be fun. Besides, everyone's appearance is greatly improved by ears and a tail" he sniffed. "well, at least that's my opinion."

There was a collective facepalming throughout the guild.

They'd seriously been terrified of this guy?


	7. Chapter 7: wENDy

_hi guys. this suggestion comes from 'Guest' (you know who you are, even if no-one else does *rolls eyes*)_

_disclaimer: I do not own 'Fairy Tail', or 'James Bond', because if I did, I would currently be in a mansion, somewhere in Spain, and probably not writing this fic._

* * *

**7. wENDy**

"Huh?"

The collective exclamation echoed throughout the hall.

Laxus was the first person to start laughing.

"Wendy?! You seriously mean that Wendy over there?! She's totally harmless!"

"Yeah!" yelled Lucy.

"Wendy wouldn't hurt a fly!" called Natsu from the back of the hall.

Whilst the entire guild burst into hysterical cackling fits, only Wendy remained relatively quiet.

She sat in a swivel-chair, with Carla sitting on her lap, rather similar to a cliché 'Bond' villain.

"Hehehe… they suspect nothing!"

* * *

_Yes, I know that it's short. please don't kill me._

_This one is kind of random, but I wanted to have a short chapter this time._

_Anyways, since the 1 month anniversary of this fic is coming up, I thought that I might publish all of your suggestions in one go (on September 8th [hopefully])_

_This means roughly 14 chapters so far, so, please get your suggestions in by September 9th, if you want them published (the next opportunity will be the 1 year anniversary,if the fic is still going by then)._

_Also, there are a few things that I would like to say with regard to those of you who left pairing related suggestions. this is a comedy fic, so, if you don't want me to heartlessly mock what might be your OTP for all I know, then don't leave suggestions for it._

_Just to let you know._

_laters ;)_


	8. Chapter 8: Eternal Nalu Dearest(pairing)

_Ok, credit for this one goes to _axlorg89 . _I know that I've already mentioned this person in 'Neko Day', but I felt guilty about only giving you guys a short chapter, and I needed something to type up quickly._

_this is what I came up with._

* * *

**8. Eternal Nalu Dearest (pairing)**

With this, triumphant exclamation, Zeref started to unbutton his shirt, slowly, and rather awkwardly.

Most of the guild were confused.

Gray sniffed.

"Dude, if you're going to strip, at least do it properly."

With a final flourish, Zeref opened his shirt to reveal a pink t-shirt, covered in glittering writing, which said "NaLu forever!"

"Five exclamation marks?!" Jet raised his eyebrows. "Seriously?!"

"Pink is manly." Elfman muttered under his breath.

There was a heavy pause.

"OMIGOSH, ME TOO!"

Every head turned towards the direction that the voice had come from.

Jaws hit the floor, as Bickslow revealed his own, novelty shirt.

It was also pink.

He walked up towards Zeref.

"You know…" mused Lisanna. "I honestly didn't see that coming."

She was elbowed out of the way by Mira.

"I knew that I wasn't the only one! I've been trying to get them together for ages!"

"They're in loooooove!" giggled Happy.

It was roughly at this point that Bickslow's "babies" flew overhead, chanting "NaLu! NaLu!"

They were promptly followed by Makarov, and the rest of the 'Thunder Legion', who were chanting the same thing.

Zeref cackled.

"Yes! Free t-shirts for all who ship 'NaLu'! We shall make this pairing canon!"

Lucy cowered underneath her table.

"Levy, help me, I don't want to date an idiot!"

She then looked to her side, where Levy had been moments previously. She was no longer there, but was in fact trying to force Gajeel into a novelty t-shirt.

"Get off me! I'm not saying that I don't ship it, but I'm NOT wearing pink!"

In the midst of all this, Natsu was confused.

"What's a 'NaLu'?"

There was a stunned silence.

Erza looked stunned.

"But Natsu, it is your destiny. 'NaLu' must become canon! It is the future of your love-life!"

"But I don't want a love-life! I'm too busy setting fire to stuff!"

He looked to Happy for support, only to find that the cat had joined the rest of the 'NaLu' fan-club, and was glaring at him.

"BLASPHEMY!" screamed Freed.

"SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER!"

* * *

_Well, hope you liked it (btw, if this is your NOTP then, sorry. I just thought that it would make a good chapter)_

_Also, I forgot to ask this in the last chapter; are there any characters that I haven't included yet that you guys want to see? Let me know in the reviews._

_adios B)_


	9. Chapter 9: Extremely Nude Damsels

_disclaimer; I do not own 'Fairy Tail' or 'Death Note'_

* * *

** Nude Damsels (or chapter 5 continued, sort of)**

"WHAT?!"

Zeref did his best evil laugh (Light Yagami edition) and grinned.

"I have been inspired by the recent events of the manga, and, as a result, I have figured out a way to make it even more popular, thus increasing the army of otakus from earlier…"

He took a deep breath, allowing the confused guild members to wonder what the hell he was talking about.

"… Gentlemen, this is the conclusion that I have come to…"

By now, the suspense was unbearable.

"…we need…"

Everyone was leaning forward, desperate to hear what he was about to say.

"MORE FAN-SERVICE!"

This is where you allow yourself to imagine a deathly silence. Some tumbleweed rolls past Zeref's feet. All that can be heard is a loud breeze.

The dark wizard looked confused. He'd expected at least _some _support, even if only from the male members of the guild.

"Err, right… well… Zirconis, get to work!"

The large green reptile lumbered into view. The last four-hundred years had been incredibly dull for him. Unlike Atlas Flame, who had founded a small town, he'd had nothing to do. So, when Zeref had asked him if he wanted to exact revenge on the people who had closed the portal, the answer had been obvious.

Now, fan-service time.

The dragon roared loudly.

Though this particular roar was louder than the average plane take off, it paled into insignificance when compared to the shrieks that could be heard from the guild below.

Zeref stood proudly over the scene of chaos that he had created.

"Gentlemen, feast your eyes!"

There were multiple thumps, as various guys fell to the floor, as a result of some particularly bad nose-bleeds.

Though Zeref was currently revelling in his triumph at having defeated some of fairy-tail's strongest fighters, he had failed to take note of one, slightly problematic detail.

Owing to that fact that he had been caught in the dragon's roar, he, himself, was naked.

He hoped that no-one had a camera handy…

* * *

_credit for this one goes to _Natsu is Awesome _since I thought that this one would funny._

_thanks for reading B)_

_btw, I have decided to save the whole 'publish everything' for another time, because, if I run out of ideas and/or suggestions, I'm kind of screwed._

_but, yeah, keep the suggestions coming_

_thanx ;P_


	10. Chapter 10:the Everlasting Nudist Day

**10. the Endless Nudist Day (or a continuation of the previous chapter)**

Once the mass hysteria had stopped (so, after about three hours), the guild members, or those who were still conscious anyway, decided to think logically.

Their first action was to close the doors of the guildhall, primarily because half the guild were naked, but also because a multitude of fan-boys had gathered outside, and they were drooling like a pack of hungry wolves.

In fact, the only reason that they were not already inside the guildhall was because Freed, who had remarkably remained conscious and was not suffering from any nose-bleeds, had constructed a barrier around the door, meaning that those who were not guild-members could not enter.

Despite this, there was still no move made towards finding clothes.

The injured had to take priority.

Owing to the fact that most of the men in the guild had developed a mysterious case of narcolepsy, the actual number of casualties was near to catastrophic.

Whilst this was happening, those with no medical knowledge (a.k.a. Lucy and Happy) were sent on a mission to find clothes.

Walking through the basement area of the guild, there was a question bothering Lucy.

"Happy, why didn't Natsu faint? I mean, he didn't even get a nosebleed."

She stopped, thinking for a moment.

"He does like girls, doesn't he?"

Happy looked awkward.

"Well, he felt like it wasn't right to look at the _other _girls like that. Not when he _looooooves _someone else."

Lucy, who had not caught on yet, couldn't help but ask;

"Who is it? Please tell me Happy!"

The exceed shook his head.

"I'm sorry Lucy. Natsu's my best friend, I couldn't betray his trust like that."

Lucy delved into a conveniently placed barrel.

"I'll give you fish." She said, holding up a large mackerel.

Happy made a show of being emotionally conflicted. Then he grabbed the fish.

"Look-chomp-I can't tell-munch-you. But I can give you a clue."

Lucy nodded eagerly. "I won't tell anyone!"

Happy sighed.

"Well, he's been obsessed with her ever since we first met her in Hargion. He just wishes that she'd notice him, so that's why he acts so stupid all the time."

Lucy blushed furiously.

"I see!"

* * *

Later...

"Hey, Lucy! Let me help you hand out those clothes!"

Natsu ran over to her.

Happy handed Mira a dress.

She smiled.

"So, did you drop some hints?"

Happy nodded, unable to reply, as he still had half a fish in his mouth.

Mira's grin widened.

"Good. If they're not together within a week, we'll have failed."

* * *

_heya, this one is from Gruvia rocks. it was originally "dance", not "day", but there is another dance-related suggestion which I was thinking about doing._

_also it worked as a continuation of chapter 9._

_anyways, see ya later_


	11. Chapter 11: Extraordinary Neon Dress

**11. Extraordinary Neon Dress**

With this triumphant exclamation, Zeref whipped off his robe (not for the first time in this fic) to reveal a glittering, neon-pink dress.

Jaws hit the floor.

Assorted fangirls fainted as he shuffled out of his trousers, to reveal that he was also wearing neon-blue boots, with a yellow trim.

"People" he yelled "I have arrived!"

Gajeel raised his eyebrows.

"Pink, seriously?!"

This was when he realised that most of the other male guild members were looking at it in a weird way.

Elfman shuffled his feet.

"Neon is manly!"

Gray nodded. He'd swapped his usual black boxers for a fetching neon pair, also pink.

"Natsu's been trying to tell us that for years, and now I finally understand what he meant!"

"MY HAIR IS NOT PINK!"

Lucy stared in horror at Gray. He'd just agreed with Natsu! This had to be bad!

More importantly though…

"HEY! Aren't those my underwear?! When did you get those?!"

Gray looked shifty.

"Well, at your house…"

"I DEMAND THEM BACK THIS INSTANT! DIDN'T I SAY THAT YOU COULDN'T BORROW MY UNDERWEAR?!"

Whilst Gray was being beaten over the head with a convenient chair-leg, numerous other guild members expressed their love for neon.

Zeref grinned.

"Okay, well, now that we are all completely and utterly fabulized, we are gonna go and paint the town red! Drinks are on me! Free for all wearing neon!"

He strutted out of the door, leading an army of neon-clad mages behind him.

Makarov, who's subconscious was urging him to swap his regular cloak for a sparkly one, cringed.

"I'm getting too old for this…"

* * *

_this one went off on a bit of a tangent... not quite sure what happened there..._

_anyhoo, credit for this goes to CelestialTitania, who just really wanted neon (I figured that 'dress' would work slightly better than 'drapes') thankyou ;P_

_see ya laters, and keep the ideas coming!_

_BD_


	12. Chapter 12: Elvis Never Died

**12. Elvis Never Died...**

Everyone in the guild banded together, and decided to break the world record for the most 'facepalms' within the space of ten seconds.

"SERIOUSLY?!"

* * *

_hiya! I know this chapter was really short, but you will hopefully get another one later today._

_thanks soooo much to Yours truly - Pride (loving the profile pic btw) for the very specific, detailed suggestions, i honestly didn't know that the reviews could be that long... :)_

_however, on an entirely separate note..._

_I COMMAND YOU ALL, READ THE LATEST FAIRY TAIL CHAPTER NOW!_

_I mean, you finally get to know what happened to igneel (and presumably the other dragons as well, though this is just speculation at this stage), and there's so many potential feels!_

_the chapter is a bit short though..._

_just read it, NOW!_

_see ya later _

_(P.S. yay! dragons! XD)_


	13. The non-comedy Evil Never Diminishes

_**WARNING**__: this chapter is actually sort of serious. If you ship any of the following characters with anyone, I would advise you not to read this chapter, because it destroys pretty much all of the ships. These are said characters:_

_-Jellal _

_-Gajeel _

_-Laxus _

_-Juvia _

_-Meredy _

_-Sting_

_-Rogue _

_-Lyon _

_-as well as anyone else who started out evil_

_You have been warned._

* * *

**13. Evil Never Diminishes**

"Huh? What does that mean?" Natsu spoke up. (Please note that, at this point, he was still aiming a kick at Gajeel's head. Remember, from chapter one? Good times…)

Suddenly, he felt himself being flipped over, and he landed on the stone floor with a disconcerting crunching noise.

He looked up to where Gajeel was glowering down at him.

"Trying to smash my face in, salamander?"

Menacing shadows coiled around him.

He sighed, exasperated.

"Look, kid, I can't fault your sense of humour, but can you maybe not be so damn over-dramatic?"

The shadows focussed around a single point, and solidified, to reveal Rogue, who shrugged apologetically.

"Sorry. Did you see the look on his face though?"

Then, for what was possibly the first time ever (not including future-Rogue), pulled a dragon-slayer-style evil grin (you know the one, fangs, flames of drama burning in eyes [or in this case, eye, because of fringe] etc).

"W-what's going on?" any people within the immediate vicinity of the three dragon-slayers stepped back.

"G-Gajeel?" Levy stood up timidly. "What are you doing?"

From the doorway, Zeref started cackling maniacally.

Gajeel cracked his knuckles.

"It's about freakin' time you came to get us! These guys were annoying the crap outta me!"

He glared at Levy.

"Get out the way."

Shoving past her, he and Rogue made their way towards Zeref.

Wendy, who was under a nearby table, stuck her head out, confused.

She could see Laxus, elbowing his way towards the door, where other mages were standing behind Zeref.

She could make out Sting and Lyon, who were standing near the front of the group, talking to Midnight, from the Oracion Seis.

And if she really stuck out her neck, which she didn't particularly want to at this stage, she could just about see…

"Oh."

Erza, who had moved forward to see who she would inevitably end up fighting, stopped in her tracks.

"Jellal?!"

He turned towards her, smiling sadly.

"What is it, Erza?"

Her eyes widened. He sounded exactly the same as he used to, when he was in the tower of heaven.

"Why are you with them? Jellal, you're better than this!"

His smile became mocking, and his eyes were sad as he turned away from her.

"You know that I'm not."

Tears sparkled in her eyes.

"Goodbye, Erza."

Lucy ran towards her, as she fell to her knees.

Others worked their way towards the front of the hall.

Zeref smirked triumphantly.

As juvia reluctantly took her place beside Meredy, he launched into a monologue.

"So, 'Fairy Tail', these were the people who you thought were your allies…"

He looked to Makarov, who was glaring at Laxus.

"…you trusted them…"

He glanced at the remnants of the Thunder Legion.

"…you enjoyed their company…"

A look towards where Natsu and Gray were glowering at Sting and Lyon.

"…some of you fools even loved them…"

He threw a slightly disgusted gaze, over to where Mira and Levy were helping Lucy to calm down Erza.

"…however, you were wrong to do those things. They never returned those feelings-"

He was cut off by Juvia.

"Juvia did for Gray-sama.." she mumbled quietly.

Zeref glared at her, before returning to look at the shocked guild members.

Erza stood up.

"Get ready." She muttered bitterly to those around her.

Zeref's wicked grin returned.

"These people are all here to kill you. Evil never diminishes."

And with that, both sides surged forward.

* * *

_yeah, sorry about this one._

_I know that it's not as good as the others, but it was all that I could think of._

_and seriously, no-one ever stays evil in Fairy Tail..._

_also, I wanted to run a theory past you guys, relating to the whole 'Igneel' thing from chapter 400._

_Weisslogia and Skiadrum are not actually dead, they just faked their death so that Sting and Rogue wouldn't end up running around looking for them when they were gone._

_it is entirely possible that they were the only two dragons with any kind of common sense._

_this seems even more likely that none of the dragon-slayers, even Natsu, could actually kill any of the dragons that came through the eclipse portal._

_even if they weren't putting up a fight, it's highly unlikely that two incredibly powerful dragons would have been killed by a pair of five year olds._

_sooo, yeah, that's my theory for the week._

_I'll try to upload a better chapter soon_


	14. Chapter 14: Extravagant Regal Dancing

_so, after the previous chapter, I figured this one would make up for my terrible attempt at feels earlier..._

_credit for this chapter goes to animepairing4eva (I know that it's not exactly 'Regal', but this was a spur of the moment type thing)_

_enjoy ;)_

_disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or any franchise which has 'Dark-Lord' mentioned in it_

* * *

**14. Extravagant Regal Dancing**

"… I, the Dark-Lord Zeref, command you all…"

He paused for breath, allowing the guild members to speculate.

"…CONGA!"

He started doing the obligatory conga-walk through the hall, holding a music lacrima, which was playing suitably upbeat music.

"Hey, Gray…" Elfman whispered.

"He does realise how stupid he looks doing that on his own, right?"


	15. attack of the rabid nerds

**Attack of the rabid nerds...**

Igneel shot into the sky, wings unfurling in a shade of magnificent crimson.

"I'm sorry, Natsu. I will explain this all to you later, but for now, we must fight against this evil…"

Natsu looked up, glaring.

"DON'T SCREW WITH ME!"

The yell echoed through the surrounding valley, as the pink-haired pyromaniac launched himself towards Igneel.

"Look, I said that I'd explain later! We need to prioritize the lives of everyone here!"

This was when the second, deafening cry was heard.

"NO!"

* * *

Cobra, who was on the other side of Fiore, screamed in pain.

"My ears!"

Jellal looked puzzled.

"I didn't think that my attack was that bad."

* * *

An army of nerds swarmed over the ruins of Magnolia, launching themselves at the dragon.

"Wha- hey get off of me!"

His wing beats started to weaken, as hordes of angry fans clung to his back.

"WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! WHERE'RE THE OTHER DRAGONS?! WHY WERE YOU INSIDE OF NATSU?! WHAT'S SO SIGNIFICANT ABOUT JULY 7TH?! IS NATSU E.N.D?!"

Igneel panicked.

"l-look, i'm kind of trying to fight the most powerful dragon on earth here, would you mind getting off me?"

"NO!"

By this point, even Acnologia had stopped to stare. The mighty 'Apocalypse Dragon' had his head tilted to one side, in a similar way to a confused dog.

Were all other dragons this well acquainted with humans?

* * *

_sorry about this one, but I felt the need to vent my spleen after chapter 401._

_it explains ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!_

_anyhow, after Natsu demanded an explanation, I had the idea for this chapter_

_see ya ;)_


	16. Chapter 16(no15):Evil Natsu Dragion

** 15. Evil Natsu Dragion**

"…May I present to you, my ultimate weapon!"

The Edolas version of Natsu peered nervously around the doorframe.

He gave a timid little wave.

"H-hello guys…"

He blushed, embarrassed. Several fangirls fainted.

There was a collective raising of eyebrows.

"That's your endgame? That guy?" Gray asked sceptically.

"I mean, c'mon! That guy's less threatening than Happy!"

"Actually, Gray, I wouldn't use Happy of all people as a comparison…" Lucy muttered, remembering the occasion that Happy had used 'Mr Cursey' on her. Sure thing, he was totally harmless.

Happy looked at the pair innocently.

Who would have thought that a small, blue cat could be so terrifying?

However, despite the fact that most of the guild agreed with Gray, there was one person at least who seemed to agree whole-heartedly with Zeref.

Natsu pointed accusingly at the not-so-destructive version of himself.

"HE'S DEFINITELY EVIL!"

He had retreated to a safe distance, and was cowering desperately behind the slightly bemused members of the 'Thunder Legion'.

"HE _DRIVES_! HE USES _TRANSPORT _ALL THE TIME! AND HE DOESN'T GET MOTION SICKNESS!"

"That doesn't make him _evil, _Natsu." Wendy pointed out.

"YES IT DOES!"

She sighed, desperately.

"Gajeel, can you talk to him? Please?"

In response, Gajeel shook his head.

"Hey, as far as I'm concerned, he's basically another version of salamander. That pretty much seals the deal for me. Even if he isn't evil, chances are he's up to something."

Natsu clung desperately on to the hem of Freed's coat, shivering.

"HE'S JUST AS POWERFUL AS ME, BUT WITH NONE OF MY WEAKNESSES! POWER CORRUPTS! HE HAS TO BE EVIL!"

Freed attempted to kick him away, whilst the other Natsu smiled awkwardly.

"I, well, I wouldn't say that I'm evil exactly…" he shuffled his feet, looking a little uncomfortable.

"I, mean… people do say that I've got a road-rage problem, but I don't think that it's that bad…"

* * *

10 minutes later...

"SEE! I TOLD YOU HE WAS EVIL!" Natsu yelled, gesturing wildly at the car which was now lodged through the wall of the guildhall.

Natsu Dragion shrugged apologetically.

"It's not my fault. The wall was in my way…"

* * *

well, since the last chapter was basically just me expressing my frustration, owing to the recent lack of a particular type of flying lizards, I figured that you guys would want a proper chapter. and, since I seem to have gotten all of the rage out of my system...

*bangs head against wall, sobbing hysterically* I WANT DRAGONS!

...anyway, as I was saying, this is another possibility for the whole 'Natsu is E.N.D' theory, so, why not?

I promise that i'll type up some of your ideas soon, see ya

B)


	17. Chapter 17: Eating Napalm Dare

** Napalm Dare**

Natsu folded his arms, grinning.

"If it's a dare, then I'll do it!"

He paused.

"What's napalm?"

Zeref smiled serenely, knowing that he'd taken the bait.

"Napalm is…"

Time slowed to an impossible speed, as every guild member who actually knew what napalm was, lunged towards the dark mage.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"…A highly flammable jelly used in bombs and flame throwers."

Natsu's evil grin widened.

"Did you just say flammable?"


End file.
